I recently  love to take this kind of picture with my dear.

His is the one that 

I deeply love this picture as I discover our journey to one another.

I really enjoy feeding those animal that is seem homeless and hopeless.

I would share a bit of joy with them.

Whom I love and whom I treassure is the one who holding me and I feel safe and comfortable to be with him.=)

In His Time

Again is this title, In His Time.

If you know the song In His Time, you may know what I gonna to say.

Yes, we all living under the measurement of Time. We have all kind of knowledge
how we should spend out Time,

why is so important to do things at the right Time,

what is the consequences if we wasting of Time,
when is the right time to do the right things,

where we spend our Time most often?

We have enough knowledge about Time management and Time spending.

But, as the time goes by, I thank the Lord for He control of all things in His hand and even my time.

I'm so glad to know who is the One to hold my tomorrow. For He is the One that created the heaven and the earth.
And with this time I can have in earth, I able to experience many great and sad things in life.

But, what countable is, Love.

From time to time, we learn many things throughout our life. But, I am so glad and grateful for the One who love me and the one I love to.

Hi is my Lord Jesus, my Savior and my Master of Life.

At this hours, I thank the Lord for His beautiful timing. =)

Even More Fruiful

It is finish...

Yessss..... It has been a long run marathon even since after Marcus's wedding until now.

Time is flying with high speed. The most heavy part now has come to and end.

From every single moment that i do for the life that i have, I do it with what i can.
It was a long process to set up and put up the deco for survivor;

It was a restless night after survivor and join for devotional night;

It was a long duty night to prepare for outreach night until it finish with clean up;

It was a headache day and night to work in a good company with bad management;

It was a restless night in running many round to buy stuffs for family camp even during Deepavali Holiday;

It was another restless night in helping youth for Carnival and doing advance preparation for family camp;

It was a rushing day to know not enough space to transport stuffs to camp while still need to fetch people from one point to another point;

It was a tiring journey to travel far from deep forest to small town and small town back to deep forest just to buy enough food for all campers;

It was a sleepless night for so much of last minute changing things in camp;

It was a tiring night from morning until supper also need to prepare food in a DIY open kitchen;

It was a long journey to travel back with exhausted body for about 4-5hours;

It was a fruitful moment for every step I lay down with a mark of love for the Church members;

It was my privilege to do things that able to examine myself what I need to improve with;

It was my privilege in giving what I received from the Lord that in benefit back Lord's people;
It was my privilege to have what I don't deserve in Life- Jesus Christ.

For Jesus is the only reason for me to do and not to do. Therefore, I'm thankful for all the support and love and care and guidance and encouragement and gentle reminder from each of you throughout the time to allow me to grow.

In order for me to tell what it is in my life, I only can tell you, I have gone through from And Yet I live to Even More Fruitful with much love and joy.

I do pray, may all this be pleasing unto the Lord.

Not a big deal

It was his birthday. Even after my birthday was thinking should I buy a gift for him or shouldn't?
Should I pretend don't know or just react whatever it come?
Should I recall those memory in last 2 years ago?

At the end, I didn't say my wish to him face to face due to no chance.
Unable SMS to him, because phone got problem.
Call him but didn't pick up call, may be busy or asleep already.
I did nothing for him. Because it not a big deal for me anymore.
Well, it simply mean, not so important anymore.

Therefore, the only thing I did is post a wish in facebook and commit him unto the Lord.

I realize, I'm happy for who I am now. I do really enjoy everything I have. Whether time, money, gift, work, and people.

If without this experience with you, I will not draw closer to God.
If without this experience with you, I will not be the one God want me to be, not the one you want me to be.

I'm grateful and thankful for what I have now, where I am now and who I am now.
And I do cherish who you really are in my life, my ex-bf .... hahahahaha X)

If you are reading my blog, Blessed Birthday to you. And I'm happy to know you grown stronger and closer to the Lord =)

it change you and me

Things will change when Love come in.

Love not only change your perspective, both parties relationship, also your attitude in handle life issue.
Most amazing part is, Love change you and me to be more Christlike, not look alike with Christ.

It change you and me

A word call Lonely

I discover few things from myself.

I have no one can be with me when I feel horrible lonely.

I don't feel like to meet anyone when I feel lonely.

I will try to fill in whatever it may be just to replace or kick away the feeling call lonely.

I will just simply lost focus whenever I feel lonely.

And lonely just make me being selfish by wanted so much people's care and to feel the value of important of someone.

The amazing part is, God like to put me to be alone and lonely so that I can just focus on Him.

Indeed, now I feel lonely and discourage for what I to do when people just don't know how to appreciate me. What I need is God and everyone. If I only need God, what for I do things for you, just do for God then enough loh? But God said, if you love me, you will also love your brother and by this all man will know that you are my disciple.

Haih.. I also can't understand what will the prophet do when they get rejected and no friend nobody want to listen their speak of the msg of God?

What will Jesus do when he face discourage?

I think..i need time to find and mediated on what does bible said about discouragement and how to handle it.. but, when I think until here, my mind already tired and...want to sleep..

It make me laugh

Yesterday, I have received an unknown number sms by asking me "sin huey, how are you?"

then, I only found out it was Annie Yong.

A long last member cum sister that encouraged me so much about a sincere heart.

And we continue chat on through sms each other.

Until a sms, she asked me this, "how is you and kayson phua?" @@

When I read this, and I laugh.. hahahahaha..
It so funny.

I didn't feel any sad or cry or anything bad. The feeling is just like...

oh well... we are friend now, izin't it?

Once, this kind of question can make me cry very badly.

But, now, it make me laugh.

=D

I think..is time to turn to a sunning day with beautiful rainbow. =)

The Ugly Me

Birthday doesn't mean need to be perfect and everything went well and smooth.
Birthday doesn't mean need to have many gift.
Birthday doesn't mean need to have a cake that I like. I don't even have a slice of cake also.
By the way, I have more that 60 wishes from facebook and 20 over face-to-face wishes.

That's good enough.

But, Birthday is a day I know He has created me with His purpose.
And His purpose is simple, just to like Christ.

While I still living in this body call flesh, sin can just easily attack and make me fall.
sound sad and weird to mention on birthday day, right?

Well, the ugly me is this, someone ask me to look at mirror and saying I'M WRONG in somewhere and change it.

I did very very angry for this particular person just like to ruin and mess up my day just don't know how to said the right things at the right time?
Do you need to bring this issue after a long and heavy weekend and on my birthday?

However, after I spend about night keep thinking, the most ugly part of me is the most hardest part to accept. And I just don't know who can I talk to beside Jesus.

I must confess, I'm wrong.

I must admit, I don't know how to control myself even just a small part like tongue.

I must change, from the way I living now.

In order for you confuse what am I talking about, my problem now is my Big Mouth attitude.

Just simply talk talk talk talk without pakai otak and discourage and stumble people.

Pray for me, so that the Spirit of God make change me in control my tongue.

All the services I do in church or in people life is so that God may feel please. Obviously, this doesn't pleased at all, and the ugly part review and now, time to change.

And this is my ow set problem.

I'm happy ^^

I'm happy for I have truly understand and accept for my broken relationship.

For I find peace...not sure is in storm or not in storm.

But, surely, I have peace when I have Jesus with me.

Most important part is, Focus and pay attention in Listen His Word.

I'm happy for I'm release from this bitterness.

I'm happy for what I have and what I do not have for this I truly know the purpose to have and purpose not to have that make me who I am now. ^^

Therefore, I'm thankful for all this years I have so many brothers and sisters, especially sister who spend so much time in talking and comfort me.

Now your time did not go in vain, but, time for harvest with joy and thankfulness.

I pray, I can become a better person and better Christian while I still have time living in this place call earth.

=)

A day in KLCC

This is my 5th day of my holiday...

Visit Aquaria in KLCC together with

Samantha Chang

Kenneth Phua

some animals we seldom/unable to see in our country forest,

or only able see it through tv,

now all actively living in Aquaria KLCC.

I have a nice trip with Samantha and Kenneth. =)

We should have another outing like this kind on next holiday.

Amp Excursion 30/8 - 1/9

2nd day, 3rd day and 4th day of my holiday,

I spent in Genting with many amps and councils people

we have steamboat together,

we have many board games together,

we have werewolf together,

we have barbecue together,

we have babies crying together (oh my goodness),

we have workshop together,

we go Genting starbuck-ing together,

we joke,

we laugh,

we nap,

we relax,

we enjoy all together.

I do learnt something else from the workshop lead

by Adam to discover who are they we work together as a team.

It really amaze and wonderfully discover one another.

Some picture i took before i leave.

A night in Sg.Congkak

1st day holiday

I spend in jungle with Group Barnabas

we barbecue,

we play candle games,

we play captain ball,

we cook,

we boil water,

without well preparation, I stay a night in a nice house also

cold until I freeze ><

And next day morning,

my car dead because of battery problem.

While Yuke Bin, Boon Loong & Khai Siang

helping me charging my car battery,

herewith few picture I took before I depart from the jungle.

I took all this at 7.15am

Then, rush back home pack stuffs and nap for an hour

then go to Genting for Amp Excursion.

That is my 2nd day of holiday.

Our Da Bao's birthday celebration

Oh well, this is the day

this is the day

of his birthday..

our Big Bao among 5 of us...heheh XD

itu dia, orang yang menyembut hari jadi dia.

great pose of the day.

><

(picture by Lee Rou Sang)

><

while mother amy order food for us,
we take picture in Zanmai

(Picture also by Lee Rou Sang)
><

after that, we all go pavilion
walk walk Tokyo Street
and having great ice-cream time
^^

the Reason

Yesterday, I went to Sungai Gabai with group Timothy and group Aquila. I did enjoyed as much as I had with one another.

At very 1st place, I don't really want to go. I was tried to think of some reasonable reason to avoid it. However, this voice came to me and said," You shall not avoid this because of them then you are not joining nor because of them then you are going just to spy them. NO."

And I come to this stage to understand, they are not the reason for everything I do or done.

It is because of Christ, the Head of the church and the church, that make me do so.

There's always a reason for a choice.

However, they are not my reason to do or not to do. Jesus is my only reason to do and not to do. To look at where I am now, who I am now, how I have change now whether good or bad, it is not because of anybody else, but just alone because of Jesus Christ.

Although I miss him when I feel lonely, but, it just a temporary. And I'm glad it just a temporary feeling. Indeed, it getting short and short.

Therefore, as I walk with the Lord, I pray and I pray and pray again, at the end, my Lord will be please even with the ordinary I have, for He is my only reason to live and to die.

I will strike on toward to the Heavenly goal. I pray that you too will do the same.
=)

A sense of Lost

This picture I took it from Jen Ruw's room, on the wall, he put some note.

despite the note, the drawing and the creativity really make him

live a full life in this temporary home.

5th of August, a remarkable date for me to always remember, I knew a brother in Christ and he has gone back to where he belong to.

In the remembrance service of Jen Ruw, Yow looi shared this, now we feel so much about lost it is because we have it before.

I try to look around, what I had before and what I had lost and what I have now...

Yes, indeed, I had so much un-needed stuffs, and I thought it a gain but.... lost.
And now, whatever I have or I don't have, it always a sense of whether I need it and whether I belong to it or not.

Jesus is mean so much for me. And He is the only reason for me to stay even I once was in deep hurt and pain. And yet He lead me through, and yet I live. Meaning, you still able to see me in church serving with my very best.

God has a great mission for Jen Ruw even after his death. I pray and I pray, one day he will able to meet his parent and his brother at where he is now.

:')

When I was driving back home from JR's house, this song just come my mind, Come what may..

Thank you Lord for showing me where to go in finding you to be with you.
I will love you until my dying day, my Lord.

The Gift

Ephesians 2:8-9

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

This is today worship theme that lead by brother Ernest. I felt so encouraged and feel touching when I heard few brothers that share in worship with their Spirit in pointing me to God. With those sincere and mature sharing, make my tears drop silently.

Sometime, I do not prepare for worship in Spirit and in truth with some funny kinds of excuses I can think off. I also easy to fail. However, I do looking forward for every time being serious in worship and in leading a chairing session. Because I find it a time for refreshing my soul and my direction in life, and I do want to worship the Lord with my heart, my soul and my love for Him.
It is because of Christ, I'm here to worship God.

A gift, that describe is only freely give by someone who thought of you;

A gift, that make you special for someone;

A gift, that is free for you but never for the one that give the gift;

A gift, that talk about your choice for someone or some occasion;

A gift, that value count and mean for you;

A gift, that is no season nor a reason for gift if we love that person;

A gift, that usually we don't deserve it.

But God has a gift for me, He send His Son to died for me and save me from sin and give me this call eternal life. The problem is, I don't deserve it. Who am I to get this gift from God?? A sinner like me??? But, it is just that simple, because He love me, and now this gift have given unto me.

However, Steven Yam did mention something that inspired me, which is the timing of gift.

Romans 5:6-8

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God's timing always right. A time for everything.(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

And God's purpose always just come on time. Never early nor late.

Same goes to God's gift.

And this remind me of a song,

"in His time, in His time, He make all things beautiful in His time."

And we are the reason, that my Father in Heaven has prepare His greatest gift for me, His son-Lord Jesus Christ. I'm not sure how much it touched you, but, I do.


I'm grateful for I get to received this gift from God and knowing how great is Your love for me in sustain me this ordinary people in this temporary world I'm in.

I couldn't stand and worship the Lord as like brothers, but, with my heart, I worship you with what I have and what I don't have, silently.

Thank you, Lord.

不愿意的时候

最近,因为好友的不愉快，使得我在交谈当中也使得我领悟到，
不是我不知道什么是对的事。

不管，我讨厌的人对我做了什么，那管家人朋友如何劝我忘记过去，
我忘不了，我放不下，我原谅不到，更不需要说接受成为友人.
对我所作的一切，所有的背叛，欺骗，愚弄，委屈，不甘愿。。
无法原谅。。也不应该得到原谅。。

只是，只要我是神的儿女，我一天是基督徒，就得爱。

神，要我爱我的友人，也要爱我的敌人。
这不是我可以选择的决定，而是神给的吩咐.
我就只有一个敌人，恶魔与罪行。

在神的国度，没有永远的敌人。
终有一天，我会原谅，
终有一天，我会接受。

神要得不是只会光说而不行动证明的我。
所以，我极不管他们，也不看其他的，只专注看着神而往前走去。
这使得我在不愿意的时候学会的self-control, concentrate, discipline and

how to please the Lord especially in struggle and trials....
也在侍奉的路途当中获益不浅... =)

所以，为我的好友感到无助,

我只可以为她祷告，不再计较，不再倔强，
为永恒的价值做出神要她学会的事。
会是一堂很要命也很艰难的一课，不过，
只要学会了，这堂课就不再那么难了。

An Assignment....

Get an individual assignment from SDC Class with title

"Have you ever change the way you think after you have become a Christian?"

And Steven has quoted this before the class end.
The best way to grow is to look back your life.

Well, I don't dare to say I didn't change.

Indeed, I'm different from 10 years back or 5 years back.
How much do I really change???

To be honest, I don't know how to measure it.

Except one thing, I know, is through our picture then we know, how much we're changed.
But, it only outlook appearance.

I still in discovering how much I have change my thinking ever since I truly be a Christian.

Let me have a checklist then only I know, whether I'm changing to good or worst than before..

the need of discipline through pain

I do experience so much about life in this 3 years.

How much is the cost to pay for all this experiences of all good and bad?

uncountable, I think..

Being very innocent in tasting life,

don't know what is life,

never consider the cost to pay,

not even bother the consequences,

and even worst is, I thought I'm handle rightly, but, I just failed it.

Until, I know what is pain, and even so,

discipline through pain that make me strong in the Lord.

So much tears that easily drop down by simply follow emotion.

At one point, I ask the Lord, pls take me home.

Pls take me home.
Life is so full of pain and heartache.
I don't want to face all this anymore,

I don't want all this anymore.

I struggle.

I cried.

And I prayed.

Again, I cried.

What had happened in my church, that make me even firm and sure that,

my presence in church is because of my commitment in serving

the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and love.

Even so, I want to give my very best to keep the unity of my church.

Not to destroy, but to build it.

my base is Jesus Christ.

Also, I come to the Lord with a thankful heart in worship Him

with what I have and what I don't have.

Now then, I understand in Hebrew 11
how God see the need to discipline He love ones through pain.

God encourage me to run with perseverance (Hebrew 12:1)

God tell me to stay focus in His Son-Jesus (Hebrew 12:2)

so that I will not grow weary and lose heart (Hebrew 12:3)

For my God discipline those He loves (Hebrew 12:6)

Continue endure in hardship as discipline,

for God is treating me as His child (Hebrew 12:7)

And no discipline seems pleasant at that time, but painful. (Hebrew 12:11)

Life is much more easier if we just focus ourselves in the Lord.

I do appreciate for every single work from

God that is under His control

and in His right timing.

With this, what I need to persevere on

is just simple..

Stay focus in Jesus

with prayer and with an obedient heart

in follow His will.

May all this will be please unto you.

Hurt

Use things to love people, not use people to love things.

How irresponsible for you can hurt without realize it?
How many time I need to bear with your irresponsible consequences and self-fish decision?

You have what you want, why still find me??

You can do much better without me as many witness your growth whether grow stronger or weaker..that's your choice.
Your presence only remind me of hurt and heartache and painful experience.

Now then, I have even important and urgent calling to carry.

I have no time for all this petty stuffs, I will not take it into my services to my Lord.
I'm sorry, I already move on.

Use things to love people, not use people to love things.
So then, I know, I will not bring hurt to others as I also don't like hurt by others.