Suddenly...

Suddenly..all our memory like video play back..

Suddenly..I miss you a lot...

And..suddenly..we are just as normal as others..

what more I should say???

I think..is this...

God is there for you and for me..

Isn't it precious?

Yes, it is very precious for me..

haih..really miss you a lot lot..

也有想过这样过生活的我

原以为，我终于可以拥有我们的时候....怎么...现在已不存在了...

看着朋友成双成对的, 结婚的,有梦想的,有依靠的...

在不久前,我也"以为"我可以拥有这一切..

我真的很似羡慕...

但凭我有限的能力,以上的一切都不会发生.

But, I do strongly believe, with God's power..all things is just possible in His hand at the right time.

Because my friend - Jesus even overcome death by raise from the death.

Thank you, Lord

Just about 4hours ago, my sister and my mother was suddenly disappear from house (that time I'm doing face mask in my room) However, I get to know my mum very sen fu in breathing so my sister didn't even tell me then straight bring my mum go to hospital.

By the time I know it, I....don't know what to do and make a prayer to God..Then, me and my brother straight go to hospital to find my mum.

And I saw my mum was in "Ruang Asma" and taking the medicine.

At that moment, I realize..I'm not a good daughter..as proved that I don't even know what had happened to my mum. I feel so guilty and ashamed to call myself daughter and sister.

However, I do glad God listen to my prayer and my mum is fine now.

I'm very thankful for I still can heard my mum talking to me while we all waiting for the checking and confirm by doctor. Suddenly..it become very precious for me.

Therefore, not to make myself regret and guilty again, mummy, I will love you with my all and prayer for you.

Monday

Today is my 1st day going out meet 6 clients, alone. And my planning was suck.

Since Saturday I begin to lost my voice. And today not only the planning schedule suck, then my body getting heat and now having fever. Although, since yesterday I ate my late lunch in presidium meeting, but, until now, I don't feel like eating anything but just drink milo.

Although things seems getting bad and worst for me, however, but I do pray for I can persevere on with God's strength in all difficulty that come to discourage me, make me struggle and make me feel pain for every moment I fall down..

I need to continue my sales report, then catch up my book reading and then rest early be prepare for tomorrow.

And I have a joyous news for myself, now I can tell you with fully acceptance in it : I finally have a close friend call Jesus.

Previous I can easily said it without mean it. But, today, I mean what I said. I have a friend name call Jesus.^^

How much I worth for you??

How much I worth for you?

Izit just a cup of Teh-O Ice Limau??

Izit just less than a gaming time??

Izit just about 3.30pm-6.30pm every single saturday??

Izit just a normal price like RM XXX.XX something??

So, How much I worth for you??

I would like to discover it.

This question has came to me quite sometime back when I get this question from my SDC Teacher - Steven Yam.

There was a true story happened in Jesus's time.

How much Jesus worth for Judah??

30pieces of silver coins.

Izit just 30 pcs of silver coins??

No.

Jesus only worth 29pcs of silver coin.

Because Judah betrayed Jesus when the offer is more than 29pcs silver coin

and the business deal.

How sad when I get to know this truth?

But the truth is, this matter also happened in my life

that I can just easily sell my God to satan with the cheap price.

I'm so sorry.

So, at the same time..

I wonder..how much I worth for you

as a sister?? as a friends??

as a partner of life??

How much more will you sell me out with your great price??

You have the answer with you right??

Then I question back myself,

How much God worth for me??

What is the value I tag for God??

..........................

God know my answer if He did listen to my prayer.

Something you won't bother

Hot..it is such a hot day in 2/9/2010 (Thursday)

I have traveled with my senior collegeous since 10.30am until 7.00pm in Cheras Batu 9 area, PJ Area, Subang Jaya area, Kota Komuning and Klang area.. until Subang area I already pening kepala and headache because of the sunshine and hot weather.

However, here is my point in writing this blog. I have cut my hair ^^

Ever since I rebonding, I have about 9-10months didn't care about my hair..even long enough to swept the table for every time I having meal.(some sister told me this)

I still remember you were saying to me long long time ago,"If you want to cut your hair, must ask me 1st yea. And don't cut too short yea."

Do you still remember this?? I guess, this is something you won't bother anymore. However, this is still a matter for me..Isn't it stupid for holding this? I'm sure whoever read until here will knock the head and said,:"haih..since you know it, why still holding it lah"

But, today I have cut my hair and I don't even get to ask anybody else.

And the hairstylist lady (very leng lui oh, I can't stop looking at her for few times ^^) saying I have a very healthy hair and good looking hair..and encourage me to keep it as pure as I want (just because I never color my hair and it mark out so much different of the healthy hair.)

So, for you who won't bother me anymore, and I will do the very same to you..

Because I know God care for me even He know the numbers of my hairs; and you are just a person who saying you don't know how to appreciated me..

I'm glad I have a God who care for me; but, at the same time, I'm upset for I'm just no value in your eyes.

Conclusion : complicated~~(sister, pls allow me to emo at least..today) thanks..

Isn't seem an important matter in you

As you can see, I have consistently in train myself in so call healthy practice which is book reading.
Yes, with no doubt, I begin learn to read more and learn to develop in this act as well.

As usual, today I also spend time in reading on Lee Strobel's book - God's Outrageous Claims

In this book, Lee Strobel has been worked as an newspapers reporter. Therefore, the way he present the sentence and the terms in using words is kind of proper, and it challenge me in patiently explore the meaning by checking my dictionary. Another kind of learning level for me.

In this book, Lee Strobel has set a challenge in 1st chapter about Freedom in forgiving your enemies and Learn to forgive yourself in 2nd chapter.

Well, in 1st chapter, who is your enemy??? I don't have the name at 1st..However, I have a name in my mind now..then, I ask again, "really is my enemy??are you sure?" Yes, with no doubt, this name is my enemy that I really don't know how to treat this person in a way I suppose to behave.

However, I would like to share some great words within this 2 chapter that I have gain.

Chapter 1
Choosing to forgive instead of hate can turn out to be one of our greatest blessings in disguise-if we understand how this extraordinary principles works.

Those who developed forgiving attitudes toward their enemies were able to rebuild their lives despite their injuries. But the patients who were steeped in bitterness remained invalids.

But when we choose instead to see them from the perspective of their value to God, we begin to recognize that they have supreme worth because they bear God's image, even though it's distorted and obscured by sin.

When we start seeing them as people who matter to God, they begin to matter more to us.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

in Chapter 2
Your sin can never be so great that it would disqualify you from your Father's forgiveness.

All throughout history, the size of people's sin has never been the issue with God; the issue has always been whether people were willing to humble themselves and come clean with him about their guilt.

The wounds of your past remain open because you haven't tried to heal them through making things right with whomever you've wronged.

Regrets. Self-directed anger. An inability to forgive ourselves for what we've done or failed to do. These can haunt us or even consume us-but as we've seen, there is genuine hope through Jesus Christ.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Until here, then I realize, somehow the wrongdoing person never ask me for forgiveness one woh?? why ah??? I also wonder why.

If we christian receive forgiveness from God so that we may practice the same to others as well. But, somehow, why forgiveness just seem not an important matter for you ah??? Izit really not an important issue to talk to??

I don't know why, I feel like want to cry but no tears come out..and I'm glad Irene do ask me join for cell group. So, my mind just stop thinking at that part lah..

What can make me cry it out rather than keep it in my heart??
because..it is very...painful...