The right way to love

Get to know something about next year..and I think..this is God's way to answering my prayer.

To love you meaning to stop love you now..

You can live better without me,

you can be a better person without knowing me,

you don't need me,

and God just use me to help you grown..i guess..

as we won't meet each other that often, I think..my love for you will die just in short prior of time..

so much so much tak sampai hati, but have to put down..

this gonna make my tears drop again...haih....

Why can't trust me again??? or am i make you confuse???

haih...after this, I will just strike on in what is right to do for God..and it will be a big change for me..

Once I change, I will never come back to you..

I gotto announce to you, I no longer standing at the same place to wait for you anymore...for you won't come back to me anymore...and I will just continue to walk..alone...with smile.. =)

alright, it's enough for me.. I need a quiet place for me..to cry out loud..

make it a last one..a last one..

1st Time experience in Hospital

My doctor call Mr.Sushil

XD

This is Oxygen. I take this when I found it hard to breathe

Well, now only have sometime to upload what I have for my recent life.

Well, again is blessed one, fruitful one, also a busy one..=)

Recently I admit into hospital because of tercekik of small piece of chicken bone..that cause me admit into hospital from midnight 2.30am until 11am..and it just make my throat so pain and I hardly take breathe eventually I need to admit into hospital..well, in hospital, I have experience take X-ray, alone in hospital more than 10hours and get many injection just within few hours...most scary part for me is injection and yet alone..want to cry also alone..T.T

However, when I tercekik, you were there watching..when I admit into hospital, you are the only number I can ever remember.. I can't even remember my family's contact number..what a bad daughter I am...hahahaha..sorry..

after doctor said I can discharges, I just can't wait go back to church and continue what I suppose to be but not laid in hospital or bed for rest..because the only hurt i can is my throat..so, i went back to Church at 12pm to continue the SDC class debate. Ever many have come and ask me how am I and so one...Ever you did not approach me as other did..somehow, I know you are worry..hmm..worry as a brother care for a sister..I guess, you will answer this way..just a guess..

However, this few day I really sleepless and this few day, I received a lot of cares and warning to warn me eat slowly..but, the most warmest(i personally found that) is your worry and care for me..it have been so long that I did not received your care for me..sometime I will just ask, izzit because you don't know or you don't care or you know but don't care...But through this incident, I'm comfort with your silent care for me..you make me miss you again..

However, now then I have recover alot. I can eat but slowly, I can drink but slowly, I can talk but not scold...so, consider recover a lot...thanks for many prayers and care for me.. =)

Listening...If I die young..

Today is D-Day...Currently helping mum cook lunch then later go church..
Life is great if only you know who is the One holding your breath, your life...

While the song is playing..if I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song....

Will you feel proud of your life when you die??? for now, I will feel sad if I die young..for I have so much more not yet done..

How sad it is if I die in young age like now???
No, I don't want die in young age...I don't want make my closer one to cry and my family to suffer in losing me..

If God allow me to live until I get married and I want to have children and I want to raise my children and let them know this God who I have in my life..I want my children to be someone that God feel proud of too..as I always feel very proud of what I have from God and I do very proud of I have Jesus in my life and non others can experience what I have with Him..

with no regret to live a good life to the One I proud of.

just a silly tot to share here..alright, need to continue helping mum cooking..today she cook me homemade pan mee for me ^^ must be very nice and tasty...yummy~~

Getting Worst...=.=

Today..haih.. I overslept again...
Monday I reach office just on time..
Tuesday I late 5mins..
and today Wednesday... I overslept..haih...

I really feel tired for this few week..like non-stop booming that kind..
2nd week of Oct - The Apprentice
3rd week of Oct - Food Hunting
4th week of Oct - AR Finale
1st week of Nov - Family Camp..din really get rest in this camp
2nd week of Nov - Make Over
3rd week of Nov - Carnival
4th week of Nov - D-Day
1st week of Dec - Last Group Meeting with Jordan Sweet Day
2nd week of Dec - Award Night

wow..so fast reach to the end already. I really busy for many things..ended up, I just not enough time for my sleep, my time and even over spent for my money.

No matter how tired I am or how worst I am..
whenever I feel tired, I encourage myself by shout this out " I can do all things through Him who give me strength."
whenever I feel so lost and discouarge, I understand this wholelly "Although I always lost control, but I know, God is in control in my life."

alright, time to work with my best.

Let's pray for a fruitful day =)

You think too much...

No matter how I trying to improve myself, it also can't change your impression for me, a girl that always think too much..I really hate this just because I DID NOT think too much whether you love me or not, or love me still betray me...I NEVER EVER THINK THAT MUCH IT WILL HAPPEN TO ME..and now you saying you think too much...

Great..I admit, I'm a girl that always think too much..but, how come I never doubt on your love to me???Stupid..foolish...fan shu...that's me...

Petra Carnival 2010

I feel like want to write something here..and this is the place i able to write whatever i want to...

Today... is Petra annual Carnival Day.. Throughout the week was so much, work, preparation, headed planning, lack of time for sleep, for family,and even a proper dinner..

However, again I give thanks that for today Carnival..is worth..this is what I feel.. There are so many newcomers came to visit our church.

And I really think that my group Jordan really did a wonderful job in each of the corner field they have.. I'm so comfort by people willing to help and willing to ask me and willing to offer me with many good and useful idea as well..Truly this is a great comfort and encouragement for me.
And my team make me proud for each of them.

Besides this, I still remember last year Petra Carnival, I have a troubled in arrange all my stuffs from church back to my house. I have almost 17 boxes and many bages to carry. At the end, I still need to fetched church member home.. And that time I still have you with me to help me in arrange and taking care of my stuffs.. My mum told me that, he was taking all the boxes and stuffs just by his own from car to left then to 5th left door and go into my house. As some of you know, I stay in a condominium house which is quite troublesome if you got so many stuffs to carry in and out.. But, you did it for me, last year..
So..this year I was alone...to carry, to pack and to unload all stuffs. I have spent 4 rounds in up and down from pick up area and go into my house by lock and unlock my door. Then, I realize I forgot to take my laptop with my phone in my laptop beg.."Oh No!"
Then, I go back to church and take back my laptop..

this is what I get to experience when the time without your help. And seriously, I miss you so much here =)

Haih..now then, I have already said what I don't feel to talk to anyone.. I shall go back to my real world to continue on what I should be and should do.. =)
because..I can do everything through Him who give me strength.

Lack of time

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~feel like want to shout out loud...

Carnival, you make me so gan zheong and stress ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

but, I think I gonna have an excited week and months...

I think so....