Immiscible

Immiscible..simply mean something cannot be mix

This is the title theme for this year Petra Christmas Sketch. Throughout the practices and the performance in Termeloh, I found that, I really enjoyed it so so much.

Get to learn to sing,

Get to learn to act,

Get to learn to speak English correctly in stage,

Get to learn how to be creative,

Get to learn what is professional in acting,

Get to learn how to be confidence with the task that given,

Get to learn to work with different type of people,

Get to learn to bear with one another with love and care,

Get to learn to improve myself in many ways..

For me, thsi year Christmas is much much more different and special if compare with previous years. This year is more meaningful. The reason why I said more meaningful is because I get to experience and knowo how to appreciate more all about Life. Is not only feeling to live for my life, but is living for the Life that God want.

I'm very thankful for who I am now, for this make me ordinary in your sight, but, is extraordinary in God's sight..I guess so...hahahahaha XD

I miss youth T.T

Today is Youth Christmas Party....and i get to call to AMP room to help out for Sunday School work... then, I realize, I cannot stick in youth joh..

it make me so....sad...feel like wanna cry...

I miss my time in youth...

I miss my member always kacau me but joke around me..

I miss my time when we can go makan together then fetch member home and have a fruitful chit chat...

I miss all this....

But, I guess...I can learn alot form AMP people like yow looi, ada, wai yee...and many...

I think God want me to learn also..^^

So, I will learn well there..

Okay, let's cheer...

But, sad that...cannot shout cheer together as one group joh....

arhhhhhhh......

I miss Youth...................

I have done this

I received a letter from one of the Youth Program call Resolution 2010..I get back what I have wrote down to achieve in 2010..

Guess what??? I think... I have done it.

What I wrote down during 2009 was : to continue and have more love for God's people..

When I read it..I just remember, I have forgave you and willing accept you again.. But you are not..

Whatever it is, I'm glad..I'm glad I did it..

if not, I think.. I'll be ashame for I didn't achieve anything that bring value to count..

I think...I'm just a fool

I have been writing over and over again and again about my broken relationship although it has already pass for 8months..haih..8months already...

I guess..weren't you that make me like a fool..

is....my problem..I just making myself look like a fool.

ever since I choose to commit my love to you..

ever since I choose to hurt myself by waiting with false hope..

ever since I choose to hold on with what I want..

In the process, I have received hundred of cares and thousand of solid advice for me..but, all I keep it out of my heart..

I did not seriously take it into heart...

Again, I choose to be a fool again...

haih..izzit because of my sir name??? I doubt although this doesn't relate to this.

and surely, I hate being play like a fool..but, I myself choose to fall into like a fool..

hahahahaha...now...I look at myself and I just can laugh...

"what had happened to you, my dear?" and I only can laugh..then tears drop again...haih...

Only a fool fools with sins.

Therefore, in Ephesians 5 :15-17

Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

So...do not be foolish but understand what the Lord's will is... Can I understand now???

I think, I need to open my heart and get back those stuffs I put at out of my heart all this while for all this is God's work for me..all the encouragement and cares...

If this is the will of God, I'm happy that I can be a tool to help you grown..but, I'm sad for I'm just a fool in love...haih...

I pray and give thanks for the Lord, for His has provide me a chance to grown although it tough. And He has give His BEST for me though His BEST is totally different with my BEST..for He know better than I do.

=)

Now..is my turn...

I think...what I doing now is only bring hurt to you...

Haih....

I lost something precious for me also...

His BEST for me

Get to know a lot of your hidden stuffs as the time goes by..all slowly appear to me..

and get to know you are with someone else.. oh..how great you are there..happy, enjoying the sweetness, think of her every single minutes and wanted to be with her every single moment, right???

all this I know..I know...

haih...why must be in this kind of situation?? again??? why????

when I was so frustrated in driving my car heading toward to klang to meet my customer... I just can't help but stop my car at the side and began to prayed.. I got no other way but only God's way to go.

After prayer, this is what came into my mind.. if this is the situation, I think...His has gave me His BEST for me, though His BEST is totally not the same with my BEST..but, I'm thankful for He know me better than I.. Therefore, this is the situation I have, and I will choose to go far away from you both..so that I can be normal again..

Haih...This year...is really a year make me so tired...very tired..I hope I can be at home soon..

time to catch some rest..good night.

If you worry for me, the only thing you can do for me is to keep silent..I appreciate with your silent care and support..thank you.

Now..you're dead...

If you know what is happen for my life all this while, you will know clearly what I trying to said here.

You're dead now, Kayson Phua..
You may clap, dance, happy over for this.. I guess you will just not bother.. For you already fill your heart with a little girl you have.

I'm very angry...I'm so angry why God want use me to help you grown to let you love other girl but not me. I can't understand now.It's really make me like a fool.. haih..but, I believe this is part of His will..

So much hatred, anger, tears, unwilling, disappointment and even being betrayed... what can I said with all this.. thank you?? or you fan shu that do wrong and leave by saying sorry and just don't know how to appreciate me???

Your name is mean bring joy to people, but your deeds is only bring hurt and tears for people around you..perhaps only me...

As you said, you are just selfish donkey..haih...

After all this, I already begin my walk with Philippians 2:13, and I shall end my love for you here..for your love is dead and no longer mine but others.