A New Journey

I'm very....comfortable now..

for I have experience release..

I'm very thankful for many

encouragements,

prayers,

advices,

loves,

patience,

protects, and

acceptations to me.

Thank you.

learn to smile..from the bottom of my heart..

Beside talk to God, this is the 2nd place and the only place when I want to talk about myself or my life, just only will be me alone. Sometime, I do really enjoy being alone and not disturb by any people.

As time passby, I'm get to know a lot of stuffs that all this while has hide behind me. And all this stuffs make me very sad and feel 委屈.. yes, it is very 委屈.. do you know i'm a person who cannot stand with 委屈? i will just can't stop crying for it..

I don't know what to do for all this, as all this cannot be change because it become a fact.
I also don't know why I never ever doubting or question about your love.. and this is fact. I didn't doubt, you know? surely, you know about it..that's why its lead you to behave like that.

By the way, after many long cried in prayed, I promise, I will learn to smile..a sincere one, from the bottom of my heart. =)

I know you are moving in and out of my life

There is a time for everything.. hahaha..just simply copy from don't know who.

But I heard this for many time even in the bible Ecclesiastes also did mention about it.

However, I got to know there are many people care about me.

And they did care about my life

all thisthis while only by reading from here. To be honest, if you do

sincere care about me, I will know by your action.

By the way, this will be my last post and I realize here is no longer a

place I can express out what's about me and people in my life.

And you have be in and out of my life, but, I afraid, now I want to lock

my door and no one else will come and disturb me as you guys think

this is the best way for me to recover.

I'm ashame to tell that, I don't have confidence in continue what am I

doing. And whatever I do, all just seems wrong for you..even now..

You can have a happy life, but I might not be happy in life that bring

so much hurt and tears for me. Somehow, i have this feeling,

I jealous jen ruw who can at home so early..and I begin to miss

this place call Heaven. no sorrow, no tears, no pain, no suffering...

Life is for living. but, I have another question..

Life is living for what??

prepare for another new life?? get the full training??

living it with the fullness of life?? if is to get hurt and reject again..

I can accept get hurt from anybody else, but not from you and you

and you...who do you think i mention for this "you"???If you do care

for me, pls come and look for me..I'm not your ulat in your stomach,

if you don't show it to me, how can I know??

and why you guys expect me to know "you are care for me?"

how to make a trust in this statement??

teach me if you know..

I will just stop right here. no more posting in this An Ordinary Life.

Movie Day with Amy

2 Hours ago, I was with my best friend - Amy watching a movie call Charlie St Cloud.

I think, I saw you in Midvalley. Simply because I saw someone look really look like you sitting in cos mart.

However, me and amy went for food court eat ikan bakar. Cheap and nice one. ^^

Then, we enjoy Baskin Robbin ice-cream for today is Pink Day.

Then, we went on for movie that start at 9pm.

By the way, I was eager to watch this movie simple I get attracted from the poster and the story for the movie. It is really a good show for Life living.

In the movie, is not only got leng zai, but with many word of wisdom has revealed. There were few word did draw my attention.

"You feel hurt because you are alive.",

"Why you?",

"What have you done with your gift and your 2nd chance?"

This movie is to tell and challenge those who are still taking breath and living at this moment, Live a full life.

You know, I tot I know life when I just seem to know good things, in comfort, under safe protect, and doing what others doing as well..like go school, work and many..

But, God is using things/matter/people to remind me of what is Life about?

If there's a necessary to let you understand, God may teach you the lesson through different way.

And God remind me Life through hurt and rejection.

People may reject you, friend may not accept you, your most love one may hurt you..

Izzit what Life about??

I'm thankful for I'm living under God's grace day by day..

But, what have I done with my life??

Until one day I have make my decision to live, or else, I'm just wasting my life.

A life for living..

Herewith the Charlie St.Cloud picture that I love very much.

Who am I to have all this, Lord pls take all this away from me

Sound similar???

Yes, I have mention this in Facebook when I was really in deep trouble in mind and heart. And my mind and my heart was sicked at that moment.

For myself, whatever I have gone is a kind of blessing for me.

The sweet one,

The memorable one,

The sorrow one,

The hard one,

The helpless one,

The joyous one,

The unwilling one,

The hopeless one,

The crazy one,

The smile..yes..

The smile I have when I look at you..

all this is blessing for me that money cannot buy.. =)

What is blessing for you?? for me is something I undeserved to have it but, someone practice His kindness and make me have it-blessing.

But, I also remember the story of "Jewel Pearl Necklace" story..

Do you familiar with this story??

And this remind me of Jesus has ask 3 times for His disciples - Peter "Do you love me more than this?"

Do you know this chapter in the Bible??

For me, what holding me on what encourage me on is all love about. As my best sister share with me, there are many type of love, family's love, friend's love, husband and wife, sisterly's love, brotherly's love and many more...all this is the way we love..

To be honest, for me is only have 2 type of love - to love or not to love..

I don't know you were reading my blog all this while. But, I hope this will be your last passage and hope you will not visit my blog anymore. At least, I have a place to expose what I unwilling to let you see. Please respect me as I will do the very same to you. =)

Focus

Sometimes, I hope I have received a sms after a tiring of working day;

Sometimes, I hope to see you appear at my house and jump out and shock me with surprise;

Sometimes, I really hope to have chance to pray with you again;

And sometimes, I do hope we can never lost the value in each other.

You know why I say all this?? I has been independent for 6months. I get back my focus in God as the time pass by.. and it has pass by very fast. Because it has been half year already.

Through many "sometimes" as I view as above, I have lost my focus in God.

God want my focus in everything I do, I have, I experience and even I give. All is relate with Him.

To give thanks, to praise Him, to worship Him, to love Him and most important is to obey Him.

But, sad to say, many of us just easily get distracted same go to me. What I hope for, What I looking forward and what I want it only will drive my focus away from God..

Just like a baby can just easily get distracted by something look beautiful.. Baby..who you can think of?? (hmm..must be...) now..you just lose focus in what I just mention.. I just said juat like a baby and I didn't mention name..somehow, we just easily have the name fly over in our mind.

However, to learn to stay focus, I discover that I have to learn to obey my Master in order to focus in doing what I suppose to do for God, for my family, for Church, for other people and for my work.

When time to study, stay focus in study and get lost from Facebook;

When time to fellowship , stay focus in building up one another with great fellowship and stop worry for the preparation;

When time to worship, just stay focus in God and stop looking around observe what people do.

We can easy get distracted from a little minor sound and action, but, we can never stay focus in Obey what pleased the Lord.

I have a problem in stay focus in obey God, do you have this kind of problem also??

I hope we can learn to overcome this by sapu away this person call satan for he like to set a block or distract us to stay focus in God.

Let's pray hard for it.