the useless man

I born in 1987 in family carry my father's surname with Foo.

I'm the eldest among my siblings.

I have a useless man which is my father.

I feel so sad for my mother and the family member always suffer the consequences after his useless attitude behaviour.

I can't help but crying. I feel so sad for all this mess.

Get personal loan to help this useless man,
Get over 20k to ask bank not to sold our house to property company,
Get whatever we earn, we have to feed this useless man as my father.

I am so upset for my mum to get a useless man.

I pray, I won't get a useless man be my husband and my child suffer under the useless man's consequences.

I got married...

Yes, I got married....in dream.

Yesterday night I got a dream.

I have a very nice apartment but the living space very small.

Inside the house got 1 old lady and another family member which I can't remember who are they. But I saw them in the kitchen area and in living room and I walk back to my room.
I have a bed build with wood on top got cover with fine light linen and very comfortable place for me
(I know the feeling because I lay on the bed in the dream)
I saw my husband sleeping next to me which is CBL. He just there. Sleeping.
Later on we have guests to visit us. All of them come and congratulate me while I on bed ready for sleep. =='''
They are so many of them to visit my house until house almost no place stand.
But I only remember few are they. Got Vincent, Yvonne, Olivia Wee, Jason.
The house colour is white but the bed colour is wood colour. Is a square place and got few floor.

something like this but is wood colour

Room is much smaller than this.colour.

Then, somebody suggest midnight shopping. Then along got me, Irene, Man Yit, Benjamin and Yow Looi.

We were in a bookstore in somewhere else then half way the book store close and we got nothing but shopping in dark place.

Then I saw is time to go home but I lost my way until I also don't know where is it and what happen there.
I walk until very tired and got a small path and both side is full of蒲公英. I stop and play a while and saw my miao miao calling me..... then I wake up and my miao miao is calling at outside my room.

In dream, I still remember Yvonne said this to me:"Gong Xi you ah. Finally this day has come to you." then she take out my blanket and try to sleep at my side as well. =='''

However, I feel so sweet and happy in dream when I being congratulate by other about I'm married.

Well, now back to normal, oh well, I still need to trusting my Lord for this joyful day I would like to experience it.

Romans 15:7

Referring to the bible verse in picture, that is my quiet time for today.

I have a question in mind:"What shall I do in other to accept one another?"

You know, sometime if you are have a kind hearted atiitude,

you won't so easily get angry over a little things.

But,

If our manner not so good, we might just easily shout or scream or show our bad attitude.

I have a problem in accepting one another.

I might pretend to accept those I not so like by avoiding social with them.

I might accept then but when things go wrong, I just gone mad.

In regardless of any situation, I'm a bad person for 

the Lord Jesus Christ accepted me even I'm a sinner.

What more I still be calculative over a little one?

This simple verse is just very simple if we are just reading.

I'm trying to put it into my pratical life, and I realize this: 

In order for me to accept like what Jesus did, I must love. 

I must love them.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails. 

1 Corinthians 13:5-8a

Although I have no idea why this verse appear in a Hong Kong city night view picture,

but it remind me of, if the world is big for you,

Hevaen is even much bigger than what we see right now.

I pray, God will continue teach me to love passianote

to His people,

to His church,

and to accept one another. 

A day with day dreaming...

When I look at this, my feeling is like "wa~~~~~~"

This beautiful palce call Maldives.

The beautiful couple call Khuntoria.

2pm Nick Khun + f(x) Victoria = Khuntoria

They went for this place for honey moon holiday.

Ever since I watch this show call "We Got Married"

I really really envy for those couple in the show.

From have nothing in mind about each other \

until really know each other.

From no car license until got a very nice car;

From go out dating at public until can have a house

cook at home and invite their beloved friends to join in the meal.

They can just spending time in doing whatever they wish to do

and yet can build up the relationship.

I really really envy at them.

Because boon loong is in commandership for this yeat.

Which is he really really busy with the group and put himself out in his calling as commander.

Sometime, we don't even have talk while we are fetching each other.

Because after he sending his people home, I am the last one who sent him home which

he already very tired until fell asleep in the car.

When I look at him, i think the best i could do is make sure he don't fall sick.

It sound a bit silly, but I do always looking forward

to have a house with my dear boon loong;

we cook for each other the nice meal;

to have a chance to go for this paradise place call Maldives;

to have a house that build together;

to have mutual servanthood in the church;

together we are call husband and wife.

As I watching, I also dreaming. 

Haih~ alangkah bagus if all this can come true in another 1 or 2 years.

As I dream about it, I'm 26 and he's 21.

After mentioning this, it seem too young for him to talk about marriage.

Hahahahaha.... hmm.. well...

I think I really need to focus on what I can do for the church

before I just keep dreaming on my dream.

It's time to go bible study to get my soul to feed by the word of God.

Quiet Time

How much better to get wisdom than gold,

  to choose understanding rather silver. - Proverbs 16:16

How true. How true is thou word.

In the whole chapter have many verse that striking on my mind.

Like in verse 7 - When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

Still also in verse 25 - There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Buth in verse 16,  it remind me of a hymms in Spectrum of Praise.

I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold

I'd rather to be with to his treasure untold.

 

I think, this verse tell me that how much that we value things of this earth compare to eternity value in God.

An understanding can not buy from money. Which our understanding doesn't mean by how much money we have make. Which is, a decision.

Pray for myself to always have a decision to understand better and have a better understanding about meaning of life living.

what control over your life?

I have an issue in money.

Basically I work in a very stable company which need not to worry about delay on my salary income.
However, the I have an issue in getting the money in than out.

Day by day, month by month also aiming for saving money for this and that.
Ended up, spend all out without any saving. To be honest, I really have no sense in financial management.
My management is really poor. I must admit as I really having problem in this.

As for today, I only left RM4.60 for my whole day. I keep thinking of where to get my money. Bank, gone.
Mother, hmm...never mind, then.....wherelse? No. No place I could get an answer too.

I'm trying to gather whatever value I have and thinking of what is the cheaper lunch I could have.

With this, I have a cup of instand noodles mee and a piece of bread from KK Mart shop.

Well, at first, I really feel like crying for I keep asking"what happened to me that I put myself into this situaltion? I don't even have enough for a meal?"

But, to think through, I have enough for whatever I need.

RM 4.60 is enough for me to have the least simple meal I have even.

What control over my life? The most bigger enemy of my is worry. The most effective way to kill the enemy is to be still and think, and see what I have for presence is always good enough for my presence.

Whether you believe or not, a life that need to be worth living in this earth is really tough by what we see.
If our perpestive is choose to see from God's sight, I am really a blessed one.

In all, better learn saving your money and time when you are young. All else, when you are getting old and expenrince many life problem and invoid in money, life will be choke off just when you are worry about life too much.