A smile with Understanding

Many of time we are in showing the negative emotion whenever we can't understand it or can't accept it.

But, if is with the right understanding, it will make you smile..

As I don't know what is in God's mind (and no one will know), but, somehow, I think...God is a Great Joker..and He like jokes and He enjoy share His jokes with His children including you and me.

Therefore, a smile with an understanding make me discover, God like jokes too...

wahahahahhaha...

I shall give thanks for whatever it is for I know God is smiling and happy to know, we understand His jokes ^^

Right??

I hope I'm right..wahahhaahhaa...

It is so full

Time pass by very fast as in now already 30th December =)

well, my schedule for past few days is like this

23th Dec - Work and Christmas shopping but sleep at 12am.

24th Dec - work and last Christmas shopping with Nicholas then Christmas Eve dinner in John Low's house with all Amp then count down in church until 12.15am then wrapped gift until 3.30am

25th Dec - Christmas services at 10.30am then stay back for practice then until Immiscible performance then go makan then fetch Michael and Xiao Jun home and we chat until late night around 1am only reach home.

26th Dec - Sunday worship then girls camp then we ate steamboat and we sing a lots of song and we have fun and fellowship but around 11pm I already KO on bed and sleep.

27th Dec - most early person woke up to make breakfast with Connie Hong Shi XD then cooked lunch and take a lots of picture then BBQ set up and have fun with all girls with a games call Murderer.

28th Dec - most early person woke up at morning together with Connie Hong Shi and I drove back to town to get Breakfast which is Nasi Lemak. However, half way my tyre pancit and make me have to change the tyre by own. With a prayer, God sent His angel to help..some more is a leng cai but too bad is a Malay guy...then we manage get the breakfast and when we reach Sg.Congkak again, all girls still in dream =.= then we leave camp site and go home and get 4hours nap then sms with an idiot until 5.30am

29th Dec - 7.30am woke up and prepare for work and I need to travel to Shah Alam and Klang. And I manage get some free time to shopping in Leisure Mall and guess what, I get to buy few book to read..I'm so excited for it. then dinner at home and continue my report for work. Some how, I forgot I need to attend a meeting and I get a call and I ran and rushing to the meeting..the feeling is just so back for forget such important meeting..haih..fan shu... i mean myself.

30th Dec - still have another 5hours for sunrise, so not sure yet.

Basically my life for pass few day is only like this. Although is so full until not enough sleep, but, I do enjoyed so much for all this.

Most important is, the TRUE meaning of Christmas... I'm appreciate for the ONE who give up so much to come to me and said I forgive you and I love you, my Lord Jesus.

No one will do this for me but only the Lord Jesus Christ. =)

Immiscible

Immiscible..simply mean something cannot be mix

This is the title theme for this year Petra Christmas Sketch. Throughout the practices and the performance in Termeloh, I found that, I really enjoyed it so so much.

Get to learn to sing,

Get to learn to act,

Get to learn to speak English correctly in stage,

Get to learn how to be creative,

Get to learn what is professional in acting,

Get to learn how to be confidence with the task that given,

Get to learn to work with different type of people,

Get to learn to bear with one another with love and care,

Get to learn to improve myself in many ways..

For me, thsi year Christmas is much much more different and special if compare with previous years. This year is more meaningful. The reason why I said more meaningful is because I get to experience and knowo how to appreciate more all about Life. Is not only feeling to live for my life, but is living for the Life that God want.

I'm very thankful for who I am now, for this make me ordinary in your sight, but, is extraordinary in God's sight..I guess so...hahahahaha XD

I miss youth T.T

Today is Youth Christmas Party....and i get to call to AMP room to help out for Sunday School work... then, I realize, I cannot stick in youth joh..

it make me so....sad...feel like wanna cry...

I miss my time in youth...

I miss my member always kacau me but joke around me..

I miss my time when we can go makan together then fetch member home and have a fruitful chit chat...

I miss all this....

But, I guess...I can learn alot form AMP people like yow looi, ada, wai yee...and many...

I think God want me to learn also..^^

So, I will learn well there..

Okay, let's cheer...

But, sad that...cannot shout cheer together as one group joh....

arhhhhhhh......

I miss Youth...................

I have done this

I received a letter from one of the Youth Program call Resolution 2010..I get back what I have wrote down to achieve in 2010..

Guess what??? I think... I have done it.

What I wrote down during 2009 was : to continue and have more love for God's people..

When I read it..I just remember, I have forgave you and willing accept you again.. But you are not..

Whatever it is, I'm glad..I'm glad I did it..

if not, I think.. I'll be ashame for I didn't achieve anything that bring value to count..

I think...I'm just a fool

I have been writing over and over again and again about my broken relationship although it has already pass for 8months..haih..8months already...

I guess..weren't you that make me like a fool..

is....my problem..I just making myself look like a fool.

ever since I choose to commit my love to you..

ever since I choose to hurt myself by waiting with false hope..

ever since I choose to hold on with what I want..

In the process, I have received hundred of cares and thousand of solid advice for me..but, all I keep it out of my heart..

I did not seriously take it into heart...

Again, I choose to be a fool again...

haih..izzit because of my sir name??? I doubt although this doesn't relate to this.

and surely, I hate being play like a fool..but, I myself choose to fall into like a fool..

hahahahaha...now...I look at myself and I just can laugh...

"what had happened to you, my dear?" and I only can laugh..then tears drop again...haih...

Only a fool fools with sins.

Therefore, in Ephesians 5 :15-17

Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

So...do not be foolish but understand what the Lord's will is... Can I understand now???

I think, I need to open my heart and get back those stuffs I put at out of my heart all this while for all this is God's work for me..all the encouragement and cares...

If this is the will of God, I'm happy that I can be a tool to help you grown..but, I'm sad for I'm just a fool in love...haih...

I pray and give thanks for the Lord, for His has provide me a chance to grown although it tough. And He has give His BEST for me though His BEST is totally different with my BEST..for He know better than I do.

=)

Now..is my turn...

I think...what I doing now is only bring hurt to you...

Haih....

I lost something precious for me also...

His BEST for me

Get to know a lot of your hidden stuffs as the time goes by..all slowly appear to me..

and get to know you are with someone else.. oh..how great you are there..happy, enjoying the sweetness, think of her every single minutes and wanted to be with her every single moment, right???

all this I know..I know...

haih...why must be in this kind of situation?? again??? why????

when I was so frustrated in driving my car heading toward to klang to meet my customer... I just can't help but stop my car at the side and began to prayed.. I got no other way but only God's way to go.

After prayer, this is what came into my mind.. if this is the situation, I think...His has gave me His BEST for me, though His BEST is totally not the same with my BEST..but, I'm thankful for He know me better than I.. Therefore, this is the situation I have, and I will choose to go far away from you both..so that I can be normal again..

Haih...This year...is really a year make me so tired...very tired..I hope I can be at home soon..

time to catch some rest..good night.

If you worry for me, the only thing you can do for me is to keep silent..I appreciate with your silent care and support..thank you.

Now..you're dead...

If you know what is happen for my life all this while, you will know clearly what I trying to said here.

You're dead now, Kayson Phua..
You may clap, dance, happy over for this.. I guess you will just not bother.. For you already fill your heart with a little girl you have.

I'm very angry...I'm so angry why God want use me to help you grown to let you love other girl but not me. I can't understand now.It's really make me like a fool.. haih..but, I believe this is part of His will..

So much hatred, anger, tears, unwilling, disappointment and even being betrayed... what can I said with all this.. thank you?? or you fan shu that do wrong and leave by saying sorry and just don't know how to appreciate me???

Your name is mean bring joy to people, but your deeds is only bring hurt and tears for people around you..perhaps only me...

As you said, you are just selfish donkey..haih...

After all this, I already begin my walk with Philippians 2:13, and I shall end my love for you here..for your love is dead and no longer mine but others.

The right way to love

Get to know something about next year..and I think..this is God's way to answering my prayer.

To love you meaning to stop love you now..

You can live better without me,

you can be a better person without knowing me,

you don't need me,

and God just use me to help you grown..i guess..

as we won't meet each other that often, I think..my love for you will die just in short prior of time..

so much so much tak sampai hati, but have to put down..

this gonna make my tears drop again...haih....

Why can't trust me again??? or am i make you confuse???

haih...after this, I will just strike on in what is right to do for God..and it will be a big change for me..

Once I change, I will never come back to you..

I gotto announce to you, I no longer standing at the same place to wait for you anymore...for you won't come back to me anymore...and I will just continue to walk..alone...with smile.. =)

alright, it's enough for me.. I need a quiet place for me..to cry out loud..

make it a last one..a last one..

1st Time experience in Hospital

My doctor call Mr.Sushil

XD

This is Oxygen. I take this when I found it hard to breathe

Well, now only have sometime to upload what I have for my recent life.

Well, again is blessed one, fruitful one, also a busy one..=)

Recently I admit into hospital because of tercekik of small piece of chicken bone..that cause me admit into hospital from midnight 2.30am until 11am..and it just make my throat so pain and I hardly take breathe eventually I need to admit into hospital..well, in hospital, I have experience take X-ray, alone in hospital more than 10hours and get many injection just within few hours...most scary part for me is injection and yet alone..want to cry also alone..T.T

However, when I tercekik, you were there watching..when I admit into hospital, you are the only number I can ever remember.. I can't even remember my family's contact number..what a bad daughter I am...hahahaha..sorry..

after doctor said I can discharges, I just can't wait go back to church and continue what I suppose to be but not laid in hospital or bed for rest..because the only hurt i can is my throat..so, i went back to Church at 12pm to continue the SDC class debate. Ever many have come and ask me how am I and so one...Ever you did not approach me as other did..somehow, I know you are worry..hmm..worry as a brother care for a sister..I guess, you will answer this way..just a guess..

However, this few day I really sleepless and this few day, I received a lot of cares and warning to warn me eat slowly..but, the most warmest(i personally found that) is your worry and care for me..it have been so long that I did not received your care for me..sometime I will just ask, izzit because you don't know or you don't care or you know but don't care...But through this incident, I'm comfort with your silent care for me..you make me miss you again..

However, now then I have recover alot. I can eat but slowly, I can drink but slowly, I can talk but not scold...so, consider recover a lot...thanks for many prayers and care for me.. =)

Listening...If I die young..

Today is D-Day...Currently helping mum cook lunch then later go church..
Life is great if only you know who is the One holding your breath, your life...

While the song is playing..if I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song....

Will you feel proud of your life when you die??? for now, I will feel sad if I die young..for I have so much more not yet done..

How sad it is if I die in young age like now???
No, I don't want die in young age...I don't want make my closer one to cry and my family to suffer in losing me..

If God allow me to live until I get married and I want to have children and I want to raise my children and let them know this God who I have in my life..I want my children to be someone that God feel proud of too..as I always feel very proud of what I have from God and I do very proud of I have Jesus in my life and non others can experience what I have with Him..

with no regret to live a good life to the One I proud of.

just a silly tot to share here..alright, need to continue helping mum cooking..today she cook me homemade pan mee for me ^^ must be very nice and tasty...yummy~~

Getting Worst...=.=

Today..haih.. I overslept again...
Monday I reach office just on time..
Tuesday I late 5mins..
and today Wednesday... I overslept..haih...

I really feel tired for this few week..like non-stop booming that kind..
2nd week of Oct - The Apprentice
3rd week of Oct - Food Hunting
4th week of Oct - AR Finale
1st week of Nov - Family Camp..din really get rest in this camp
2nd week of Nov - Make Over
3rd week of Nov - Carnival
4th week of Nov - D-Day
1st week of Dec - Last Group Meeting with Jordan Sweet Day
2nd week of Dec - Award Night

wow..so fast reach to the end already. I really busy for many things..ended up, I just not enough time for my sleep, my time and even over spent for my money.

No matter how tired I am or how worst I am..
whenever I feel tired, I encourage myself by shout this out " I can do all things through Him who give me strength."
whenever I feel so lost and discouarge, I understand this wholelly "Although I always lost control, but I know, God is in control in my life."

alright, time to work with my best.

Let's pray for a fruitful day =)

You think too much...

No matter how I trying to improve myself, it also can't change your impression for me, a girl that always think too much..I really hate this just because I DID NOT think too much whether you love me or not, or love me still betray me...I NEVER EVER THINK THAT MUCH IT WILL HAPPEN TO ME..and now you saying you think too much...

Great..I admit, I'm a girl that always think too much..but, how come I never doubt on your love to me???Stupid..foolish...fan shu...that's me...

Petra Carnival 2010

I feel like want to write something here..and this is the place i able to write whatever i want to...

Today... is Petra annual Carnival Day.. Throughout the week was so much, work, preparation, headed planning, lack of time for sleep, for family,and even a proper dinner..

However, again I give thanks that for today Carnival..is worth..this is what I feel.. There are so many newcomers came to visit our church.

And I really think that my group Jordan really did a wonderful job in each of the corner field they have.. I'm so comfort by people willing to help and willing to ask me and willing to offer me with many good and useful idea as well..Truly this is a great comfort and encouragement for me.
And my team make me proud for each of them.

Besides this, I still remember last year Petra Carnival, I have a troubled in arrange all my stuffs from church back to my house. I have almost 17 boxes and many bages to carry. At the end, I still need to fetched church member home.. And that time I still have you with me to help me in arrange and taking care of my stuffs.. My mum told me that, he was taking all the boxes and stuffs just by his own from car to left then to 5th left door and go into my house. As some of you know, I stay in a condominium house which is quite troublesome if you got so many stuffs to carry in and out.. But, you did it for me, last year..
So..this year I was alone...to carry, to pack and to unload all stuffs. I have spent 4 rounds in up and down from pick up area and go into my house by lock and unlock my door. Then, I realize I forgot to take my laptop with my phone in my laptop beg.."Oh No!"
Then, I go back to church and take back my laptop..

this is what I get to experience when the time without your help. And seriously, I miss you so much here =)

Haih..now then, I have already said what I don't feel to talk to anyone.. I shall go back to my real world to continue on what I should be and should do.. =)
because..I can do everything through Him who give me strength.

Lack of time

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~feel like want to shout out loud...

Carnival, you make me so gan zheong and stress ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

but, I think I gonna have an excited week and months...

I think so....

True Friend

I hope...I can be your true friend...

How can I overcome it??

I just so afraid...i will fall back...

and I really a kind of girl that lack of self-control, lack of discipline and lack of wisdom..

I'm so scare...

How can I overcome it???

Someone who worth for me

This is the Sister that I meet in my life that always care others beyond herself, love others beyond herself and even to give beyond what she can. And always know my heart so well.

I sincerely touch by your care and love for me. Being so good to me even when I scold you and argue with you and ignore your kindness for me. I'm sorry for all this.

But, today I really worry you. I wanted so much to help you and I don't know how to comfort you, how to give you what is suitable for you, because I'm so limited with my strength. The only things I can do for you is always pray for you.

I always believe God's care is far more betterr than mine. Therefore, whatever it come into your life that push you at the corner or being annoying with all the unhappy things, pls always remember God is there for you. Please be strong, sister.

I strongly believe that God is preparing something very precious and valuable for you. Just don't give up and give in. Whenever you need me, just tell me and I'll be there for you. And please always remember, you are not alone.

So, I hope one day you will able to see whatever you have give , whatever you preservere on, and your tears, God see it and it won't go vain. Just remember, God know everything about you.

Herewith some of the moment we have been through together. I pray and I hope we will always be together to love, to care and to support one another in truth and in love.

You know, I'm happy to have you around when I don't know how to talk to anyone.

In camp transformation MegaPaw Night

You always what I love even my favor ice-cream..

If you think you are still in sickness, pls let God heal you and fix you to become who you really mean for God.

=)

A life that is worth living

I have been very long didn't have any update here. However, this has been a long journey for me..i think..hahahaha..

You know, in youth camp and family camp also talking about LOVE..a love from God.. We have been talking so much about God's Love for us - a sinner.
LOVE....is my life...LOVE is the most important matter for me..I'm serious for it. But, throughout this long period of time, I begin to understand what is Love about.
I have this few things to share at here about Love.

Is not only what is Love about , but much more valuable if I can understand Why we Love and How we Love.

If ever the main ingredient for a pot of curry chicken is curry powder and chicken meat, then, the main ingredient for a Relationship is always honest, always trust and always accept.

Use things to love people, NOT use people to love things.

A life is only worth living if I know how to Love in a right way.

Sincerely I have make many prayer for each of you. I'm very thankful and grateful for God able to bring me to this level which is I able to experience His grace, His mercy and His love for a sinner - me.

This verse always come into my mind..
Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

And I will keep praying for God to review His will for me in His beautiful timing.

And I'm very happy to have you who reading my blog now to be with me throughout this time.
Thank you for many care and love and little protection for me.
Thank you =)

A New Journey

I'm very....comfortable now..

for I have experience release..

I'm very thankful for many

encouragements,

prayers,

advices,

loves,

patience,

protects, and

acceptations to me.

Thank you.

learn to smile..from the bottom of my heart..

Beside talk to God, this is the 2nd place and the only place when I want to talk about myself or my life, just only will be me alone. Sometime, I do really enjoy being alone and not disturb by any people.

As time passby, I'm get to know a lot of stuffs that all this while has hide behind me. And all this stuffs make me very sad and feel 委屈.. yes, it is very 委屈.. do you know i'm a person who cannot stand with 委屈? i will just can't stop crying for it..

I don't know what to do for all this, as all this cannot be change because it become a fact.
I also don't know why I never ever doubting or question about your love.. and this is fact. I didn't doubt, you know? surely, you know about it..that's why its lead you to behave like that.

By the way, after many long cried in prayed, I promise, I will learn to smile..a sincere one, from the bottom of my heart. =)

I know you are moving in and out of my life

There is a time for everything.. hahaha..just simply copy from don't know who.

But I heard this for many time even in the bible Ecclesiastes also did mention about it.

However, I got to know there are many people care about me.

And they did care about my life

all thisthis while only by reading from here. To be honest, if you do

sincere care about me, I will know by your action.

By the way, this will be my last post and I realize here is no longer a

place I can express out what's about me and people in my life.

And you have be in and out of my life, but, I afraid, now I want to lock

my door and no one else will come and disturb me as you guys think

this is the best way for me to recover.

I'm ashame to tell that, I don't have confidence in continue what am I

doing. And whatever I do, all just seems wrong for you..even now..

You can have a happy life, but I might not be happy in life that bring

so much hurt and tears for me. Somehow, i have this feeling,

I jealous jen ruw who can at home so early..and I begin to miss

this place call Heaven. no sorrow, no tears, no pain, no suffering...

Life is for living. but, I have another question..

Life is living for what??

prepare for another new life?? get the full training??

living it with the fullness of life?? if is to get hurt and reject again..

I can accept get hurt from anybody else, but not from you and you

and you...who do you think i mention for this "you"???If you do care

for me, pls come and look for me..I'm not your ulat in your stomach,

if you don't show it to me, how can I know??

and why you guys expect me to know "you are care for me?"

how to make a trust in this statement??

teach me if you know..

I will just stop right here. no more posting in this An Ordinary Life.

Movie Day with Amy

2 Hours ago, I was with my best friend - Amy watching a movie call Charlie St Cloud.

I think, I saw you in Midvalley. Simply because I saw someone look really look like you sitting in cos mart.

However, me and amy went for food court eat ikan bakar. Cheap and nice one. ^^

Then, we enjoy Baskin Robbin ice-cream for today is Pink Day.

Then, we went on for movie that start at 9pm.

By the way, I was eager to watch this movie simple I get attracted from the poster and the story for the movie. It is really a good show for Life living.

In the movie, is not only got leng zai, but with many word of wisdom has revealed. There were few word did draw my attention.

"You feel hurt because you are alive.",

"Why you?",

"What have you done with your gift and your 2nd chance?"

This movie is to tell and challenge those who are still taking breath and living at this moment, Live a full life.

You know, I tot I know life when I just seem to know good things, in comfort, under safe protect, and doing what others doing as well..like go school, work and many..

But, God is using things/matter/people to remind me of what is Life about?

If there's a necessary to let you understand, God may teach you the lesson through different way.

And God remind me Life through hurt and rejection.

People may reject you, friend may not accept you, your most love one may hurt you..

Izzit what Life about??

I'm thankful for I'm living under God's grace day by day..

But, what have I done with my life??

Until one day I have make my decision to live, or else, I'm just wasting my life.

A life for living..

Herewith the Charlie St.Cloud picture that I love very much.

Who am I to have all this, Lord pls take all this away from me

Sound similar???

Yes, I have mention this in Facebook when I was really in deep trouble in mind and heart. And my mind and my heart was sicked at that moment.

For myself, whatever I have gone is a kind of blessing for me.

The sweet one,

The memorable one,

The sorrow one,

The hard one,

The helpless one,

The joyous one,

The unwilling one,

The hopeless one,

The crazy one,

The smile..yes..

The smile I have when I look at you..

all this is blessing for me that money cannot buy.. =)

What is blessing for you?? for me is something I undeserved to have it but, someone practice His kindness and make me have it-blessing.

But, I also remember the story of "Jewel Pearl Necklace" story..

Do you familiar with this story??

And this remind me of Jesus has ask 3 times for His disciples - Peter "Do you love me more than this?"

Do you know this chapter in the Bible??

For me, what holding me on what encourage me on is all love about. As my best sister share with me, there are many type of love, family's love, friend's love, husband and wife, sisterly's love, brotherly's love and many more...all this is the way we love..

To be honest, for me is only have 2 type of love - to love or not to love..

I don't know you were reading my blog all this while. But, I hope this will be your last passage and hope you will not visit my blog anymore. At least, I have a place to expose what I unwilling to let you see. Please respect me as I will do the very same to you. =)

Focus

Sometimes, I hope I have received a sms after a tiring of working day;

Sometimes, I hope to see you appear at my house and jump out and shock me with surprise;

Sometimes, I really hope to have chance to pray with you again;

And sometimes, I do hope we can never lost the value in each other.

You know why I say all this?? I has been independent for 6months. I get back my focus in God as the time pass by.. and it has pass by very fast. Because it has been half year already.

Through many "sometimes" as I view as above, I have lost my focus in God.

God want my focus in everything I do, I have, I experience and even I give. All is relate with Him.

To give thanks, to praise Him, to worship Him, to love Him and most important is to obey Him.

But, sad to say, many of us just easily get distracted same go to me. What I hope for, What I looking forward and what I want it only will drive my focus away from God..

Just like a baby can just easily get distracted by something look beautiful.. Baby..who you can think of?? (hmm..must be...) now..you just lose focus in what I just mention.. I just said juat like a baby and I didn't mention name..somehow, we just easily have the name fly over in our mind.

However, to learn to stay focus, I discover that I have to learn to obey my Master in order to focus in doing what I suppose to do for God, for my family, for Church, for other people and for my work.

When time to study, stay focus in study and get lost from Facebook;

When time to fellowship , stay focus in building up one another with great fellowship and stop worry for the preparation;

When time to worship, just stay focus in God and stop looking around observe what people do.

We can easy get distracted from a little minor sound and action, but, we can never stay focus in Obey what pleased the Lord.

I have a problem in stay focus in obey God, do you have this kind of problem also??

I hope we can learn to overcome this by sapu away this person call satan for he like to set a block or distract us to stay focus in God.

Let's pray hard for it.

I'm just a kids =)

You know, only in this box, allow me to express what is in my mind and something that I don't know how to share with you face to face.

As you read on, you will find out..I'm a negative thinking person. I am a negative thiking person as many action proved I am. Therefore, I have get a book as my Birthday present - "I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris to gain more acknowledge in the Lord and add on my value in Christ through book reading.

In chapter 2, it mention like below:

I love love. But I've come to realize that I don't really know about it. Oh, I can tell you all about the warm, fuzzy side of love. I can throw myself into romance with all the passion of Romeo, but in God's school of true love, I'm afraid I'm still in kindergarten.

Actually, this book writter encourage we all stay in single until we graduate from God's school of true love then only get into a courtship to have our life partner as God give to us.

As some of you know me well, you will know why I so eager to get into a relationship with him. I really love him and I mean it. But, refer to above context, actually, I'm just a kids who don't know how to love my love ones in the way God want us to love.

Not that I always want to bring up relationship issue..and you may bored with my topic
but, for me this is what matter the most..
at least now..

My present for my 23th

My most love flovour : strawberry cheesecake

Thank for Amy Pooi, Rou Sang, Dorcas, Henri and Nicholas Kim

My most love flovour : Green Tea Red Bean Cake

Home-Made by my sister Sin Mei

Thank you so much for above mention name and

many more more name that wishes me in

facebook

church

sms

as well..

also..want to thank you my Heavenly Father and my Best Friend - Jesus,

for bless me many blessings..

who make this day special for me..

23th Birth Day

1 Peter 4

Living for God

¹Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. ²As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. ³For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. ⁴They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. ⁵But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. ⁶For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.

⁷The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. ⁸Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. ¹¹If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

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Today..should call today is my most special day of the year.. However, I just hope no any celebration for me this year, and I really not in celebrate mood to have fun or to have great dinner..but, pls as normal as another normal saturday.. at least, it would not as memorable as last year.. because of this memorable memory make me sick for today.. If memorable memory only make you sad when you look back, I hope.. i will just have another normal day in this special day of the year.

But, yesterday night..I have read a passege before I slept-1 Peter 4

Then, somehow.. I try to link this topic for my birthday.. Guess what?? this is the topic I get for myself..No matter is birthday or moody day, I should use my life and live for God- the will of God..

Who is the one worth enough for you to plan and do the preparation?? I guess..only because you love the person more than yourself only will take this step..

I'm thankful for last year, how you prepared to make this 1st and last celebration between you and me.. Thank you..

And I do, thank God for today, who prepare all things for me in bringing glory unto Him even a sinner like me.. May Your will be done in me..

Natural Colour After Rain - Rainbow

This taken when I was about leaving from Tesco Ampang..
Well, when I saw this, stilll raining but the colour of the Rainbow just get my attention as many poeple only carry umbrella and didn't realize about they above their head there is a beatiful rainbow.

You know..I love rainbow..I love the beauty of the nature and the colour. ^^
Somehow, rainbow is like a hope after a heavy raining day..
it also a promise of hope in Noah's day..
I do love to see rainbow but not often can witness this beauty of nature.

You know..once you appear like a rainbow..get my full attention and you just simply amazed me by your cheerful character..
However, you also appear like a rainbow..you only love in short while.. and then, disappear..
I really miss you as we getting far from each other by time..

Also through time, I begin learn to smile.. whatever it come to me but response by smile..
and sincerely smile for people around me to tell you that, "I'm fine."
And this smile become my mask in cover my scar..

Rainbow is just too beautiful for me..and same go to you..
I only can remain standing far and witness the beauty of rainbow..
if get near, I afraid I can't see it..and same go to you..
I only can remain standing far from you..by looking at you, I find joy in seeing you are heppy out there without me..I shall happy for you.. God make you shine bightly out there..
I shall happy for you.. for God make you as my rainbow in my life for that short while..
It is good enough..it is really good enough for me to have such a blessed beauty appear in my life even for that short moment only..

Part of my family member - meow meow

This one of my lovely pet call meow meow..

You know what is his (is a male) farvorite food or not?

I tell you lah..

1st..

He love durian..

he enjoy eat durian with us even sit together with among my family.

2nd..

He love cheesee..

when I bought cheesecake..he also want a small slice for himself.

3rd..

He love nasi lemak punya ikan bilis even got sambal..

4th..

He love to play with his friend-dinosaur, a soft toys..

what kind of soft toys..

as below picture..

he love even want to hug the toy and sleep..

but when he get angry then bully the dinosaur..

he try to kiss his friend

again, he want to kiss his friend...

Basketball at night

This was taken when I drop by Mobile field and saw a group of people playing basketball at night..almost midnight..

however, he also at there.. suppose I should run away from him..but, I'm happy for I can see him..

well, herewith some of the sport man making they body tired and sweat at night for their hobbies - basketball..

Face Mask

Recently, I quite busy in many fields..especially, self and work.. can say so not regular actively in serving the Lord. And I began have this habit in putting mask on my face.

My reason to post here not to tell you how terrible I am although many of time..I quite terrible..

but is to remind myself in try to not putting this mask in all place and situation.

Although this mask help me to cover my scar, make me look strong, comfort people around me and even so, many thought I already ok by let go of you including you also think like that..

but, I should thrown away this mask and let it heal by time. Right?? but it is very hard for me..

I can't help but to tell you, I'm fine.

I will do what I suppose to do and what I can do.

And I give it unto You

Every limitation we have can be seen as an invitation from God to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. When we surrender, we don't just give up or play dead or wait for God to fix us. Instead, we become active participants with God in making a new path of hope toward healing. We drop our guard and give up our solitary and isolated to heal. We sincerely and humbly reach out to others who can help us restore our lives to spiritual vitality. Surrender is not passivity, nor is it resignation. Its motion requires an active and conscious turning toward God wherein we reflect our willingness to submit to His power by living out our new found truth and sharing it with others.
*from book "what have you got to lose?"

Surrender

Is a big word, you know??

my 1st stage is like this,

"What can I surrender to? "

"I have nothing and nothing I have to surrender."

Then, the next stage,

"I can't surrender it to you, Lord."

"It just too precious and too important to me."

=)

well, learn to smile a bit

Last time, I'm very afraid to sing "all to Jesus, I surrender.."

Do you know why??

"I find it very very hard and I'm not willing

by repeat saying, I rather lose all things but not this.

this is too important to me."

What I trying to say is,

Surrender it may not be a lose.

but the truth is

Lose the Burden of Control...Gain the Freedom of Surrender

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said,

"If anyone would come after me,

he must deny himself and take up

his cross amd follow me.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it,

but whoever loses his life for me and

for the gospel will save it."

~Mark 8 :34-35~

It's still a happy things..

I have just read a book call "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?"

and I get this book from Book Fest.

This book..not making me emo..

but, it's set up many challenge to me.

And below is some of my fields being challenge

Challenge 1# Becoming a Christian does not mean everything will immediately change. Real Life residue is present that must be processed out of our lives. And some realities like loss, temptation, and betrayal cause us to be anything but HAPPY.

I feel very touch for this author has been very strict and honest in bringing this call Life in a Christian. And being ABLE to experience all this loss and temptations, doesn't mean to pull me down, but is a process of being transform.

Recently, I have spend many time to look back my life (since brother Jen Ruw's leaving). And I have many great teacher in my life in sharing me all about life. One thing he shared to me is

"to know what is Life 1st we must know what is Death?"

And actually, I did always pray for change to more like Christ or to have more love and patient like Christ did or purify my heart to be like Christ so that I can see Your will..

I did so many of this kind of prayers in previous years even up right now.

And now..time to change..then, I found out it is so difficult, unwilling and too big for me..

it is a big challenge.

Challenge 2# Must accept to be perfect must allow God work in me and I can't do it alone although I "think" I can.

If can, open your bible and read John 8 : 32

Yes, certainly the Truth will set me free. But, somehow, I miss the point if I skip John 8 : 31

And this has challenge me is.. the Living Out Truth.. this says no selfish desires and requires an authentic life lived with others and before the Lord. The truth transforms us, but I have to COOPERATE during the process in order to look like Christ who does the transforming.

this thought will drive me crazy if I get this book in 4 or 5months ago..

But, to be fair to tell, I'm more willing to see the glory of God that God allow work through me.

May not be as big as grand and as great that in my imagination (because whatever happen also seem very big and serious,actually is me worry too much), but is just good enough for me to see the glory of God.

And above matter, I can't do it alone nor others can do to me, but God alone.

Because only He is ABLE.

I do able to see His glory in viewing through my life IF only I able to keep John 8:31.

At the end, when I look back, it's still a happy things for me to have you and Jesus in my life. =)

Quite Time : Matthew 19 :16-30

This is my quiet time before I went to youth on Saturday.

Matthew 19 : 16-30

The Rich Young Man

¹⁶Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"

¹⁷"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

¹⁸"Which ones?" the man inquired.

Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, ¹⁹honor your father and mother, and 'love your neighbor as yourself."

²⁰"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"

²¹Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

²²When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

²³Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. ²⁴Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

²⁵When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

²⁶Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

²⁷Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"

²⁸Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. ²⁹And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. ³⁰But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

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What strike me the most

1st # in verse 16 & verse 21

the rich young man asked how to be good, but how come Jesus answered him by how to be perfect??

Then, to read on, Jesus not only want us to be good; but to be perfect in God's kingdom.

2nd # in verse 24 & verse 26

Jesus tell us that "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." then my question is..huh???like how??to make a large needle so that the camel can go through it??

No..I'm wrong..

then, to read on..Jesus answered is "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Actually, what we never thought of or what we keep thinking impossible, and God is able to make it possible by His mighty power just by believe.

Truly, I hope what it seem impossible for me, but God able to make a miracle in my life just at his right time.

Wedding : Wai Loon & Esther Liew

Mr.&Mrs.Yong

This is their wedding

so sweet, right?

Me & Esther

Me & Yvonne Yong

All this is my Sister in Christ

(Hannah, Kimberly, Myself, Annie and Hui Xin)

Group Jordan

10/9/2010..is not a day of Hari Raya..for myself, I don't have any of Raya feel also.

Because I only full with wedding feeling for

my brother and sister in Christ - Wai Loon & Esther Liew.

I'm happy for them from the bottom of my heart.

^^

Wedding..

call to be husband and wife..

is really not easy..

I know I'm not ready for it yet..

same go to you..

So..

If both of us is ready to enter this serious relationship

call to be husband and wife..

I hope is you..

Whatever it may be, the focus for me now is..

focus in God 1st..

right??

So, I will set aside this matter unto God.

Let God watch after you and me bah

although we are far from each other day by day..